Member story
Danny's story
Danny describes how coaching helped challenge years of harsh self-talk, start with a few small goals and get back on track after a disrupted month.
About this story
For years, Danny's biggest obstacle wasn't food or exercise. It was the voice in Danny's own head. Good stretches would come, then a routine would slip, and one bad week would turn into a bad month. The harsh self-talk that followed made it harder to even try again.
Expecting rules, getting a question
Danny had never joined a weight management program before and came in nervous, expecting to be handed a calorie target and an exercise quota. That isn't what happened.
"My coach, Kelly, was like, 'So, what do you want to do?'"
Instead of a plan built for someone else, Kelly suggested picking two or three goals and starting there. The first thing they worked on together wasn't a meal or a workout. It was the negative self-talk. Kelly challenged Danny to reframe small things, one at a time, and those small reframes started to change how Danny saw everything else.
The month that would have ended it before
The real test came in September. Travel replaced the usual workdays and the routine fell apart. The old voice showed up, right on cue. But this time it wasn't the only one.
"There's another voice now that is like, 'Okay. Yes, you got off your routine, but it's going to be okay. You're doing just fine.'"
That second voice is the difference between an off week and giving up. As Danny puts it, life is never meant to be perfect day in and day out. What makes change last is what you do with the days that go sideways.
What Danny is proud of
Asked what makes Danny most proud today, the answer is simple: being able to say there is a lot to be proud of, and actually mean it. That's not something Danny would have said about Danny before.
What stood out
- Starting with two or three self-chosen goals made change feel manageable.
- Working on self-talk came before working on habits.
- A kinder inner voice made it possible to recover from a disrupted month instead of quitting.
Transcript
Danny: I was so terrible to myself throughout. I just was like, "Oh, you're fat. You're disgusting." I would have all these negative self-images and everything, and it just bred more, I guess, unwillingness to even try to change it at that point.
I would have these periods where I would do really, really well, but then, of course, naturally you fall off or something happens to your routine, then you just have a bad week, and then that bad week turns into a bad month, and then that bad month turns into bad years.
I'd actually never done any type of weight management program before. I was very nervous, and I was like, "Well, I feel like they're just going to tell me to count calories and do X, Y, Z, and you need to get this amount of exercise a week and everything." And I think that was the biggest surprise at the outset, at starting it: just the fact that they were like, "Well, let's just choose maybe two or three goals, and let's start there."
My coach, Kelly, was like, "So, what do you want to do?" And she would just say, "Well, let's hash into that negative speech." She started challenging me on reframing just little things, which then started this journey of reframing my perception of everything.
But then, come September, I'm out traveling and not in clinic working all day. So there was so much that threw me off and everything. So objectively, old me would've said this was not a good month. And even there were a few times that little voice in my head was like, "Wow, you really let yourself go on this one." But what has been happening over the last month is that that voice has been there, but there's another voice now that is like, "Okay. Yes, you got off your routine, but it's going to be okay. You're doing just fine."
This is life. It's never meant to be perfect day in and day out. So you can't expect it to be a complete, perfect routine every day. You're going to have these days where everything gets jacked up, and then it's what you do with those moments that it becomes sustainable.
Interviewer: At this moment, what are you most proud of?
Danny: Well, there's a lot to be proud of, actually. Maybe the fact that I can say that and actually mean it is probably what I'm most proud of. I don't think I ever would've said there's a lot to be proud of, especially talking about myself. So, yeah, probably that.
Interviewer: That's great.
Danny: Sounds silly, but yeah.
Individual results vary. Results depend on many factors, including engagement with the program.
Testimonials reflect the individual experiences of Embla members, shared with their permission and edited for length. Individual results vary. Medication is prescribed only by an independent licensed clinician when determined appropriate. Not all participants will qualify.